{"id":3494,"date":"2018-07-04T04:06:27","date_gmt":"2018-07-04T11:06:27","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.ourthoughts.ca\/?p=3494"},"modified":"2018-07-04T10:37:29","modified_gmt":"2018-07-04T17:37:29","slug":"supporting-your-lgbtq-child-isnt-enough","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.ourthoughts.ca\/2018\/07\/04\/supporting-your-lgbtq-child-isnt-enough\/","title":{"rendered":"Supporting your LGBTQ child isn\u2019t enough"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Recently, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/kim.siever\/posts\/952111760070\">I shared<\/a> a video on Facebook that discussed the importance of LGBTQ youth receiving family support.<!--more--><\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" style=\"border: none; overflow: hidden;\" src=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/plugins\/video.php?href=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2FParentingTodaybyattn%2Fvideos%2F164793781003221%2F&amp;show_text=0&amp;width=476\" width=\"476\" height=\"476\" frameborder=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p>I want to highlight 3 points from the video:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>92% of LGBTQ youth still hear negative messages about their sexuality.<\/li>\n<li>Family acceptance is the strongest predictor of a positive self-image.<\/li>\n<li>When parents accept and advocate for their LGBTQ children, they\u2019re less likely to suffer from depression or attempt suicide.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h2>92% of LGBTQ youth hear negative messages about their sexuality<\/h2>\n<p>The negative messages LGBTQ youth hear aren\u2019t just slurs. They include everyday conversations that erase their identity. Or refusing to use their pronouns. Or telling homophobic jokes. Or using inappropriate terminology. Or sharing posts that criticize sexual or gender identity. Or failing to stand up when someone is saying something negative about sexual or gender identity.<\/p>\n<p>Negative messages aren\u2019t just things we say; they\u2019re also things others say that we don\u2019t correct. Negative messages aren\u2019t just spoken; sometimes they\u2019re communicated by our inaction when we don\u2019t oppose the critics or we don\u2019t defend our LGBTQ loved ones.<\/p>\n<h2>Family acceptance is strongest predictor of a positive self-image<\/h2>\n<p>Notice it didn\u2019t say \u201cfamily support is the strongest predictor of a positive self image\u201d? It said acceptance. Telling your LGBTQ loved one that they\u2019re still welcome in your family, your home, your circle doesn\u2019t go far enough to show acceptance.<\/p>\n<p>If your LGBTQ loved one is gay, acceptance includes welcoming their partner into your circle. It includes being just as comfortable with their signs of affection toward each other as you would your non-LGBTQ loved ones. It\u2019s attending their wedding, including them in family photographs, not being embarrassed by them, and so on. It includes putting in some research to understand their struggles and what their identity actually means, rather than claiming there are too many letters in LGBTQQIP2SAA or that there are too many \u201cnew\u201d terms to keep track of.<\/p>\n<p>If your LGBTQ loved one is trans, acceptance is more than calling them by their right name. It includes using their right pronouns. It includes treating them as a boy if they identify as a boy, as a girl if they identify as a girl, and neither if they identify as neither. Acceptance is treating them equally compared to the other loved ones in your life, in every way.<\/p>\n<h2>When parents accept and advocate for their LGBTQ children, they\u2019re less likely to suffer from depression or attempt suicide<\/h2>\n<p>Finally, notice the third point also doesn\u2019t say \u201csupport\u201d. It, too, says \u201caccept\u201d, but it also adds \u201cadvocate\u201d. Real support is more than just saying, \u201cI love you\u201d and not kicking them out. That\u2019s the bare minimum. Accepting their sexual and gender identity is more meaningful. Advocating on their behalf makes a huge difference.<\/p>\n<p>Standing up for your LGBTQ loved ones\u2014in conversations they\u2019re having and through things you share on social media\u2014shows them that you\u2019re serious about the support you say you give them. That it\u2019s not just lip service; you\u2019re willing to walk the talk, to put your money where your mouth is.<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019ve seen so many people claim they love the LGBTQ people they know or that they have always supported them, but then their actions don\u2019t show acceptance or advocacy. And to LGBTQ people, those actions are hypocritical and the insistence of support is empty.<\/p>\n<p>Please, if you\u2019re going to say you support your LGBTQ loved ones, make sure you actually do.<\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"Supporting your LGBTQ child isn\u2019t enough\" width=\"672\" height=\"378\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/yu46nx3TIok?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share\" referrerpolicy=\"strict-origin-when-cross-origin\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Recently, I shared a video on Facebook that discussed the importance of LGBTQ youth receiving family support. <a href=\"https:\/\/www.ourthoughts.ca\/2018\/07\/04\/supporting-your-lgbtq-child-isnt-enough\/\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading <span class=\"screen-reader-text\">Supporting your LGBTQ child isn\u2019t enough<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":3319,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[115],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3494","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-lgbtq"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.8 - 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