It’s always important to remember where you came from: your hometown, your humble beginnings, maybe your parents who saw you through it all. In today’s world, though, appreciation for the past seems to be lost in the fray, cast aside in favour of fast-paced jobs, modern technology and eyes focused intently on what’s to come.

I think it’s important that we start to change that, both for the current generation of elders, as well as for future generations who will eventually take on the same role. We have so much to learn from those who have walked through life before us, but we often forget to ask.

They have good advice

The world has undoubtedly changed from when your parents or grandparents were your age. While they may not have faced the same exact trials as you do nowadays, they can still provide you with nuggets of wisdom, having been through most of life’s ups and downs already. As such, their advice is even more valuable to you: They’ve navigated problems successfully and can help you do the same. Then, their wisdom will become yours to pass on in the future.

Our elders have a great perspective on our problems in the grand scheme of life because they’ve lived for decades already. Don’t be afraid to tap into the insights of your grandparents or parents and see things from their vantage point. What’s bothering you seems huge now, but in a few years’ time, it will likely be a small blip on the radar. If anyone can assure you of that, it’s someone who’s lived through a similar sentiment.

We can defeat ageism

In today’s world, it’s all about looking younger, feeling younger and, in many cases, acting younger. Of course, there’s nothing wrong with taking advantage of the first few decades of one’s life, but seeing aging as a negative thing can have consequences.

Things have already begun to get better. The elderly, who have struggled to hold onto jobs into their later years, can no longer be discriminated against for their age in the workplace. On top of that, more films and TV shows feature representative characters. The elderly are more active and healthier than they’ve been in the past, too.

By opening our hearts and minds to the oldest generation, we can further break down these barriers to fulfillment and success that younger people do not see until they’re in the same shoes down the line. Just by spending time with our elders, we will deepen our understanding of and appreciation for them.

They thrive, too

Popular culture will lead you to believe that, once people reach a certain age, they lose a lot of their good sense: Their memories are gone, and so is their grip on reality. On our screens, older people are often portrayed as crazy.

However, not every country has the same representation of their elders. Take China, for example: There, the oldest generations are seen as mentors, exalted for their wisdom. Because of that appreciation, elderly individuals in China perform much better on memory tests than those of the same age in North America. In other words, our expectations of older people can affect the way they live and remember — when we invest more confidence in them, they are more likely to follow through on those expectations.

Sometimes, the elderly also need help to take care of themselves. By some estimates, 1,800 deaths per year are linked to elder abuse. We tend to forget issues unique to the elderly because they don’t make it into the media as much. But this is something we can change, if we take the time to.

Attentiveness and appreciation can make all the difference in a situation like this one. Simply
checking in with an elderly relative can ensure their well-being.

Appreciate, learn, grow

Learning from the past will help our generation and future ones to grow and be better. That could mean we’re enriched by family or historical traditions that we pass onto our children. Perhaps we might find ourselves able to avoid major conflicts and problems because we know how a similar situation unfolded years ago. We can follow our elders’ lead and make better choices, so as not to repeat history.

No matter how we look at it, the elderly are one of our best assets. It’s up to us to keep them involved in our world and make them feel respected and heard. In the end, we’ll only end up with a mutual appreciation for one another, which is a sentiment humankind can always use more of.

Kids are the future.

This is the sentiment of many education programs in North America. As this is rightfully true for education, it also tends to be true within churches. Youth groups are among the most popular parts of the foundation of the church, with the hope that many will stay or return after college to evolve into the adult congregation and leaders of the future.

With a significant amount of time and money being funneled into these youth groups, it seems that another is being left out. The elderly population of churches doesn’t get nearly as much attention from the church as the youth. If you log onto any church’s website, you’ll probably find a section dedicated to events and activities involving their youth group. You’d be hard pressed to find any activities involving the seniors.

This needs to change.

Give them a sense of community

One of the focuses the church, as a whole, can hone in on is giving the elderly a safe haven. The church is already known as a safe environment where people can talk out their problems. If people who are elderly understand they can go there anytime, they may be more likely to visit.

Even if it’s just for a friendly chat, the church can advertise free group meetings for the elderly. These meetings could simply consist of seniors meeting and talking about their problems and experiences. Not only does this help people who are elderly express their feelings, but it also gives them a sense of community and attention in their lives.

Members of the church can also visit with elderly congregants if they live in a nursing home and are unable to find transportation or are too frail to leave their facility. This, too, can help build their sense of community, as they can keep in touch and socialize with other church members. People visiting a nursing home should keep in mind that 50 to 70% of nursing home residents have dementia, so they should consider how best to interact with them. Providing this type of supportive community is one of the best ways to reach out to these individuals, in whatever way is best and most suitable for them.

Give them a gift

Churches have an obligation to create a safe and positive environment for the older generations. Besides creating a group atmosphere for the elderly to share their experiences, it would do the church wonders if they not offered free food and drink as a thank you.

This may sound like an odd idea, but it makes sense the more you think about it. With all the respect the older generations deserve, it’s only fitting they get a free doughnut or coffee. Perhaps anyone over the age of 65 could stop into their local church on a specific day of the week and pick up a complimentary snack. It’s less about the actual food and more about the giving of a gift to a generation who has worked so hard to pave the way for the younger generations. Rather than unintentionally ignoring them in favor of youth, churches must actively play a role in building relationships with seniors in their communities by making them feel valued, as Christ instructed us to serve and love everyone.

Give them opportunities to serve

The church must move away from the idea that the elderly in their congregation are reluctant to change and thus a burden in pushing the church forward in new ways to reach the lost. In many instances, this is not the case.

Talk about the vision for the church with seniors and involve them in projects that best suit their spiritual gifts. Help those who are interested in becoming a more active part of the church, whether that be in greeting guests on Sunday mornings or passing out bulletins during the service. Purpose and engagement are crucial to building this section of the congregation.

The church has a responsibility to society. Caring for, respecting and building up our elders is one of these responsibilities.

When I was called as elders quorum president nine years ago, I was dumfounded.

I had been a counsellor for a year, so I was familiar with how things worked, but it’s one thing to take care of delegated task; it’s quite another to hold keys that oversee the use of the Melchizedek Priesthood in an entire quorum. To top it off, I was the youngest person in the quorum. It hadn’t even been two years since I had returned home from my mission.

At the time, the bishop was concerned that too many members were coming to him with problems that could have been dealt with by the member’s home teachers or priesthood leaders. Along with the high priests group leader, it was up to me to convince the older members of my quorum to come to me for spiritual guidance and welfare needs.

It was a daunting task, but one I think my counsellors and I were able to accomplish. Through ministry visits, monthly home teaching interviews, and Sunday instruction, we were able to build a rapport and relationship with the brethren than we had previously.

I never gave anywhere near the number of blessings during the two years on my mission as I did the two years as elders quorum president. It was a very spiritual experience.

One experience sticks out though that never spiritually uplifted me. In fact, it left a bad taste in my mouth.

There was a member of my quorum who was not working outside of the home. His wife was. In fact, this brother—who was actually a friend of ours—was waiting for a job to fall in his lap, and his wife was taking up the slack in the meantime. The stake president assigned me to discuss this matter with the brother and convince him that providing for his family was his responsibility.

I took my first counsellor and we visited the family. We chatted a little while about this and that and the entire time I was dreading bringing this matter up. But bring it up I did, eventually. I told him that he needs to get a job and support his family.

They were polite, and he said things like “I have a few resumes out there”. Then we parted.

That was the last they ever spoke to me. They even avoided me at church, and he used his position in the stake to avoid attending our ward. Our friendship had shattered.

He never did get a job until one fell in his lap about a year or so later.

What good came out of it?