A little over two years ago, LDS commentator Greg Trimble wrote an article entitled “The Place For Gays Inside The Mormon Church”. In it, Greg shares an experience he had with one gay man—yes, just one—who believed that there’s a place for gay people in the LDS church.
That article was shared a lot. Thousands of times, in fact. Even by conservative Mormons. They saw Greg’s retelling of the story and his subsequent pondering as support for their belief that you can be gay and LDS. And they shared the heck out of it. Because there’s nothing quite like slacktivism to bring about change in a church you don’t think should actually change.
Right wing Mormons completely ignore the experiences of LGBTQ Mormons. Until their buddy Greg Trimble comes along and shares a story of an anonymous gay man whose story matches their worldview. Then all of a sudden, they’re quick to share gay Mormon experiences. But no sharing stories of suicide, no stories of rejection, no stories of abandonment and loneliness.
They’re quick to embrace their leaders who say that LGBTQ Mormons don’t exist or that their relationships are counterfeit. But they don’t walk in Pride parades, they don’t serve in outreach organizations, and they don’t do anything but lip service to make LGBTQ Mormons feel like there actually is a place for them.
But let’s share Greg Trimble’s article to appease our consciences.
A friend of mine at the time commented on a Facebook post I wrote on the topic, trying to position himself as a neutral party, explaining his understanding of the viewpoints of “both sides” debating on my post and encouraging each to come together “to share ideas respectfully and calmly”.
In his comment, he used language that was problematic—phrases such as “homosexual behaviour”, “people with same-sex attraction”, “they have an uphill climb”—so I responded with the following.
This is part of the problem. The way you’ve described the “sides” shows a lack of understanding.
Take the phrase “homosexual behaviour”, for example. What does that even mean? How gay people behave in a restaurant? How they perform in their job? How they treat their children?
Or is “homosexual behaviour” a code word for gay sex, as if that’s the only behaviour of LGBTQ people?
And the idea of “people with same-sex attraction”. Phrasing like that pathologizes. It’s saying they have a condition, just like people with diabetes or people with cancer. And if it’s a condition, it can be overcome. Hence we get things like “pray the gay away” and electric shock therapy.
Yes, they have an uphill battle, but it’s not because of this so-called condition; it’s because they have to deal with prejudice from their family, their friends, their society, and their church. Prejudice that overwhelms them, ostracizes them, depresses them, and kills them. Again, it’s not their attraction that creates the uphill battle.
Also, by generalizing with “same-sex attraction”, we silence all the other LGBTQ people who aren’t gay. It ignores trans issues, asexual issues, pansexual issues, intersex issues, and so on. It ignores the diversity within the LGBTQ community.
Liberals (or others on the left) aren’t trying to show compassion simply because of risk. They’re also trying to show compassion because someone needs to and many members aren’t doing it. They’re trying to be inclusive because it’s the right thing to do, and not just because someone might be more likely to kill themselves.
They’re also not just asking for leaders to accommodate LGBTQ members; they’re asking for love. They’re asking for equality. The church is not just not accommodating LGBTQ members; they’re specifically accommodating cishet members.
The idea that we don’t help reach out because we don’t agree with “components of the movement” (whatever that means) is ridiculous. That’s telling our LGBTQ fellow members that our feelings are more important than theirs, that it’s more important that we be comfortable than it is to reach out in the love that our brothers and sisters have lost from their families, ward members, and leaders.
