Recently, I shared a video on Facebook that discussed the importance of LGBTQ youth receiving family support.
I want to highlight 3 points from the video:
- 92% of LGBTQ youth still hear negative messages about their sexuality.
- Family acceptance is the strongest predictor of a positive self-image.
- When parents accept and advocate for their LGBTQ children, they’re less likely to suffer from depression or attempt suicide.
92% of LGBTQ youth hear negative messages about their sexuality
The negative messages LGBTQ youth hear aren’t just slurs. They include everyday conversations that erase their identity. Or refusing to use their pronouns. Or telling homophobic jokes. Or using inappropriate terminology. Or sharing posts that criticize sexual or gender identity. Or failing to stand up when someone is saying something negative about sexual or gender identity.
Negative messages aren’t just things we say; they’re also things others say that we don’t correct. Negative messages aren’t just spoken; sometimes they’re communicated by our inaction when we don’t oppose the critics or we don’t defend our LGBTQ loved ones.
Family acceptance is strongest predictor of a positive self-image
Notice it didn’t say “family support is the strongest predictor of a positive self image”? It said acceptance. Telling your LGBTQ loved one that they’re still welcome in your family, your home, your circle doesn’t go far enough to show acceptance.
If your LGBTQ loved one is gay, acceptance includes welcoming their partner into your circle. It includes being just as comfortable with their signs of affection toward each other as you would your non-LGBTQ loved ones. It’s attending their wedding, including them in family photographs, not being embarrassed by them, and so on. It includes putting in some research to understand their struggles and what their identity actually means, rather than claiming there are too many letters in LGBTQQIP2SAA or that there are too many “new” terms to keep track of.
If your LGBTQ loved one is trans, acceptance is more than calling them by their right name. It includes using their right pronouns. It includes treating them as a boy if they identify as a boy, as a girl if they identify as a girl, and neither if they identify as neither. Acceptance is treating them equally compared to the other loved ones in your life, in every way.
When parents accept and advocate for their LGBTQ children, they’re less likely to suffer from depression or attempt suicide
Finally, notice the third point also doesn’t say “support”. It, too, says “accept”, but it also adds “advocate”. Real support is more than just saying, “I love you” and not kicking them out. That’s the bare minimum. Accepting their sexual and gender identity is more meaningful. Advocating on their behalf makes a huge difference.
Standing up for your LGBTQ loved ones—in conversations they’re having and through things you share on social media—shows them that you’re serious about the support you say you give them. That it’s not just lip service; you’re willing to walk the talk, to put your money where your mouth is.
I’ve seen so many people claim they love the LGBTQ people they know or that they have always supported them, but then their actions don’t show acceptance or advocacy. And to LGBTQ people, those actions are hypocritical and the insistence of support is empty.
Please, if you’re going to say you support your LGBTQ loved ones, make sure you actually do.
