Mary and I were talking about someone we know who is having marital problems. Her husband befriended someone online and a short time later asked for a divorce. Some people are saying the website where her husband met this person is at fault. But I wonder.
I wonder whether this situation could have unfolded as it did if the husband did not already have a reason to want to leave the marriage.
I wonder whether the husband would have just found someone else some other way if the website didn’t exist.
I wonder if there is a correlation between the divorce rate and the fact that no one can be taken on his/her word anymore.
After all, doesn’t divorce come down to people going back on their word? Their word to love and cherish through sickness and health, through rich and poor, through better and worse? Their word to stay married for the rest of their lives?
“Is divorce going back on your word?”
In a word, yes.
In two words: not always.
I think we have to be very careful when making blanket statements. It is nearly impossible to know the whole story in any given situation.
Do you have an example or two, SilverRain?
my one word…yes you are… now the person doing the wrong definitely went back on their word (and IMO..the website was NOT at fault it was just the avenue), does that mean that if that person wants the divorce for whatever reason and leaves that the person remaining is going back on their word because they never fought harder to keep them around? Obviously in this case you are talking about there was a problem long before the website came in to play, so are both parties at fault for not working at it before it got to that point? Yes. At times we get so caught up in our day to day lives and the mundane tasks going on around it we get complacent in our marriages then wonder when something happens (like in this case the one person wanting to leave) we think oh no!! I don’t know what happened.. it came out of the blue… no it didn’t.
The one person leaving went back on their word by not approaching their spouse before it got to the point of leaving and saying hey look we have a problem can we talk about it? What can we do to fix this? The other person had to have known something was going on long before it got to that point.. they needed to have said a long time prior to that.
There are always things going on that we tend to ignore and pretend it isn’t happening. Now there are some cases such as abuse etc that the one person NEEDS to leave. I would not say they are going back on their word.
Divorce is a bad solution of the problem. But sometimes another solution can not be found…. Well… better not to let this happen.