I am glad I ran into your blog…brings me some comfort in such a hard time in my life, time of confusion and honestly, doubt.

My husband filled for divorce last month, days before Christmas. Would have not expected it, not in a million years, it was not even a question. I thought we had it all, but his testimony he tells me. He lost it and now I am facing this devastating situation that I can honestly say that brought me to the lowest I can ever feel. I have suggested the whole deal, conseling, prayer, changing whatever he does not like about me, I would do anything for my temple marriage, but he would not. He told me about the divorce in an email. My husband that I adore and love more than life itself was able to hurt me in such way that I am almost ready to give up on life.
Talk of Free Agency. I begged God to put some mercy in his heart, everyday. I am struggling right now, when I need the Lord the most. I am having a hard time praying anymore, I don´t understand why this is happending to me and why would the Lord not take my pain away.
I married a man that served a mission, did all he can do be righteous, he took me to the temple ( like my patriachal blessing tells me)and now his choice in life is having an impact on me that I can not see myself stong enough to endure it.

What is next when I can reach out to a man the way I use to and mend his heart and have his stay?! Where do I get the strenght to keep on living and not lose all I have believed in and gave me so much joy in my life??

Kim, you start out asking about a marriage being “immune” from divorce. That’s like asking whether I’m immune from eating bananas. It’s not a disease; it’s an action. If I choose to eat bananas, I eat them. If I don’t, I don’t. The concept of immunity has no place. I think it’s likewise with marriage and divorce: If my wife and I choose to continue in our marriage covenant, then we stay married. If we don’t, we don’t. Furthermore, if we choose to do those things that will keep our marriage covenant intact, we do them. If we choose to do things that will make one or both of use miserable, we’ll do those things. But we always have the choice. So I don’t think the concept of immunity has any place here, either.

With, by all accounts, a terrible role model for a father? This sounds like a good idea?

I’d also suggest that no matter how good of a ‘feeling hider’ you think you are, your kids will pick up on your feelings of resentment and disharmony with your spouse and it’s going to confuse them.

You asked for opinions, ‘no matter how opinionated’, so here’s one. Dump the bum and move on. You can do better.

It sounds like you have put the greatest efforts you can into how to save your marriage and no one except you and God are able to determine that.Do not stay for your children. Only stay if you know that you are supposed to. All I can really suggest is that you focus on the scriptures and studying about Christ. He knows you and your husband best and He has the answers. I don’t know if this helps at all, but my thoughts are with you.

I have never been one to consider divorce. I came from a family where my parents were the only ones still married. He came from a very broken home (mom’s on marriage #4, dad on #3). We also have several of the “indicators” listed earlier: I was 18, he was inactive, neither of us went on missions, christmas issues, and obviously, divorce… huh actually we have all of them…

Anyway, after several years of counseling, meetings with the bishop, and attempts and fixing things on my own, I decided to file for divorce. Few people have been supportive of this decision and have thrown my temple marriage in my face saying that I am walking out on my covenants. Funny thing is that most of those same people are supporting him. Problem that I am having now is that I’m feeling guilty and wondering if I should stay and continue trying to fix things, if for no other reason than to give my kids (2 toddlers) a more “stable” environment.

Any thoughts on this, no matter how opinionated, are welcomed.