I heard someone use the term “gay lifestyle” today, and it made me think. What exactly is a gay lifestyle, and how does it differentiate from a heterosexual lifestyle (whatever that is)?
Gay Lifestyle
16 thoughts on “Gay Lifestyle”
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The term “gay lifestyle” is used by non-gays as a euphemism for homosexual sex. It avoids having to use the “H-word” and at the same time precludes the need to distinguish between committed relationships and promiscuity. It also makes the assumption that all gay people engage in excessive amounts of sex. Gay people, of course, are bewildered by the term.
That line about the stereotype of excessinve sex probably needs a modifier; “. . . also seems to make the assumption that all gay people engage in excessive amounts of sex.” At minimum, the phrase means “sexually active.” Celibate LDS gays do not “live the gay lifestyle.”
I think we have our own lifestyle as hetrosexuals. Think about group dates, striaght clubs, parties and hanging out, romance novles, romantic comedies. Then there are a bunch of dating sites, and of course in the church it’s all about the straight lifestyle.
We just don’t notice it so much because it is the norm.
For the gay community it stands out more and they are maybe even more proud of it and involved with each other because of the support it would give them.
Oh, I just had a thought that maybe the term comes about from people who would rather think of being gay as a phase or temporary lifestyle? Just an idea.
I think Steve summed it up very well, I agree with Steve.
K.
I understand the term “gay lifestyle” to mean that one is (1)choosing to act on one’s feelings of homosexual attraction by actually having sex with one or more members of the same sex, and (2)openly proclaiming oneself as a homosexual. No more, no less.
ltbugaf,
Those two things hardly a lifestyle make.
I agree with what Steve said too. I mean we don’t prance around the place talking about our “heterosexual lifestyle”. My lifestyle is being a wife and a mother and cleaning my house and doing laundry and more luandry and well, you know.
Use of the phrase tends to be denegrading to gay people because it implys that the essence of their life is sex, which of course cannot be true, can it?. I know church members don’t consciously mean this when they use the term, but that is what gets communicated. I don’t think I have every seen an instance where a general authority has used the term, fortunately.
Well I’m as straight as they come, and sex is the essence of my life. I think Freud got this one right. Sex is reproduction and reproduction is the most important thing to do after survival. Without reproduction, what’s the point of survival anyway? A strong sex drive is healthy and nothing to be ashamed of.
Now, same sex attraction is an anomaly, but the drive is the same. So why couldn’t sex be the essence of a gay person’s existence like it is for many straights? On frequency of sex, isn’t the consensus that gay’s are typically more active because of greater opportunity, and many straight men would be just as active given the opportunity?
“gay’s are typically more active”
I think you’ll find that gay and lesbian partners run the gamut of sexual frequency just as much as straight couples do.
Just as het couples find an increased frequency of sexual encounters when they are new to the experience (early teens and twenties), so do gay or lesbian couples – often much later in life due to the stigma they (may) face.
What do you mean by “essence of [your] life”?
What do you mean by “essence of [your] life�
Of course, Steve EM was merely quoting me. I think what I inteded to convey by essence was perhaps “focus” or “intrinsic nature”. The phrase “gay lifestyle” seems to imply that the lives of gay people have no real meaning or worth because their lives are simply centered around sex. That is, of course, an unfair stereotype.
I meant I’m an unabashed sexually obsessed horn dog and a half, albeit a well behaved one in gospel compliance in over two decades of marriage. It’s my raison d’etre.
okey doke.
Hurricane said: “Those two things hardly a lifestyle make.”
Then what does make a lifestyle? How many things are required before I’m allowed to use the word “lifestyle”?
Hello my name is jeff and I am a 22 year old gay guy who has something to say on this issue. Ok,..lets look more closely at the term lifestyle. Life means everything one does as long as one is breathing. If one wakes up early in the morning then that is part of ones lifestyle. Eating a breakfast, going to work,exercising,watching a movie with friends,these are all things that become part of ones lifestyle. Therefore, when I contemplate the notable differences between a gay lifestyle and a straight lifestyle I do not see an overwelming bombardment of difference. In fact, the only difference that I see is the difference in attractions both parties feel which ultimately determines who they choose to wake up next to in the morning. This leads me to conclude only one thing. That is, that one lifestyle has much the same components as another. Its merely a balance of things that life has to offer in which we use for either survival or enjoyment. Some people choose to live a more upbeat lifestle including more permiscuous components such as clubing and unsafe sex while others choose a more down to earth and less risky life style. Neither lifestyle can be linked to either homosexuals or heterosexuals considering both are equally suseptable to temptation and both have an incredible urge to succeed.