“Is there a difference between (1) judging others and (2) identifying where others have gone wrong and encouraging them to repent and change?

If someone may be leading those you love away from the truth, do you have a responsibility to stand up against that someone’s falsehoods? Or is it more important to be quiet and nonjudgmental, as you watch those you love fall away from what is right? ”

Of course they are pertinent if you see them as being so.

Answer to the first: Yes. In some circumstances. Making it personal (i.e. you are on the road to apostasy) is wrong. Having a holier than thou attitude, no, that’s wrong too. Maybe being like Jesus is better. For example, when the woman taken in adultery was brought to Him, He didn’t even list all her faults or tell her how bad she was. He told her He didn’t condemn her. He showed increasing love and compassion. Do you think she would be inclined to listen if He went on about how bad she was and why she needed to change? She knew. No one needs to know how rotten they are being. They just need to know they are loved.

Your second point. Yes, to a degree. Ranting and raving doesn’t get you anywhere. Stating your opinion and belief (or even better, showing it through actions) is much better than saying how rotten and horrible the other example is being and they had better cease and desist. First it doesn’t work and second, what if it was YOUR child who was being the bad example? How would you feel if someone else were to rant and rave and say how evil they are? Don’t you know your child better than that?

Also, experience has taught me that telling your loved ones they are on the road to destruction and that others are leading them there doesn’t work. If you have or have had teenagers who have rebelled, has it worked for you? It certainly didn’t in my family or any family I observed. If anything, it pushes them further away. People aren’t stupid, even those who make wrong choices (which we all do). To be told this, has a tendency to make them (us) more defensive. To be told your friends are leading you down the wrong path certainly doesn’t make you think “Oh yeah, I had better ditch this person”. That realisation comes on one’s own. Showing continual unconditional love and acceptance (not of the behaviour, but of the person) gets you a lot further than listing all their failings. Better to build someone up then knock them down. Jesus never did that, nor does He now.

Nikki: You think far too good of me :) You really do. I could say the same of you. And I do.

Mum: I know you see it the same way :).

Susan: you said it. It really helps to be brought up with this example. And you know, I think most people can find examples in their families of people makeing bad choices, it’s just some of us admit we have them, lol.

It also helps that I come from a family full of people continually making bad, bad choices. You name it, we’ve got it covered. That doesn’t make them bad people. Or stupid, even. Or worthless. Or unlovable. It makes them human, like you and me.

Is there a difference between (1) judging others and (2) identifying where others have gone wrong and encouraging them to repent and change?

If someone may be leading those you love away from the truth, do you have a responsibility to stand up against that someone’s falsehoods? Or is it more important to be quiet and nonjudgmental, as you watch those you love fall away from what is right?