Unfortunately life is not that way. A temple marriage may end in a tragic divorce….. and may have nothing to do with your worthiness….. but just brutal facts that made it impossible for a couple to continue.

We may dicover that Joseph Smith not only had more than one wife…. but that he took on wives without having permission from Emma! His first couciler was John Bennet, who later on proved to be a terrible man.

So many things can destroy the child like beauty of our faith and send us scrambling to pick up the pieces. Many members simple walk away from contriversy….. they do not want to hear about it. Others make excusses.

My own faith has been destroyed to the point that I am no longer certain of anything….. but I still hope. Somewhat of a hopeful agnostic I call myself. Still hopeful enough that I have the courage to say my prayers.
However hard it may be….. I personally do not think it is wise to stick our heads in the sand. some day we may be forced to look at those challenges to our faith. If we are not willing to look at them with a willing heart, then one day… when the choice is taken away from us and we have no other alternative other than to face the reality of challanges….. we shall not be prepared for it.

But, it is not accurate to say that those who do encounter true dissonance simply deny one set of evidence in favor of the other.

Many of us tolerate the ambiguity and honestly confront the data and evaluate why we believe what we believe. The bloggernacle is full of us.

No one can constantly tolerate a state of dissonance. So, we either shelve the issue for a while, rationalize or deny the data away, find some legitimate explanation to incorporate the new data into our old paradigm, or undergo a paradigm shift (and that can be painful and liberating).

I think it behooves us to be flexible in our thinking. And if we are true seekers of the truth, we must remember that we never really understand anything completely. Rigidity stunts our growth; it is in essence saying, “I will go this far and no farther”.

I have undergone several paradigm shifts already and expect to go through many more. In general, I feel that it is best to be honest with yourself (don’t play mind games) and open to whatever the data is pointing to. We must also remember, remember all the data we have already acquired. We have a tendency to let new data have more weight than it deserves. That is why journal writing is so important; your writing can take you back to the power of other data.

Caveat: If you cannot bring yourself to be open, it might be in your psychological interest to not be as honest with yourself. Because when you are honest, but not open, you get stuck in an awful lot of pain. To get out of the pain, you either have to start denying things (no longer be honest with yourself) or start being open to a new way of looking at things.

Much of depression comes from a mismatch of honesty with self and openess.

Bingo.

Even avoid the appearance of dissonance. I mean, why even entertain the thought that something might be wrong with a church teaching or church history?

Shelf it.
Be content.
Shut up.
End of the line.
:P

Next point, how should members deal with it? Well, I certainly don’t think they should base their testimonies on controversial topics. And I don’t think members should live in la-la land and think everything about the Church is perfection itself, or that traditions are doctrine (which they are not). Prophets are also human and were not born perfect (which some people seem to think) nor are they perfection when called as Prophets, and do hold personal opinions on subjects. If they are recieving revelation for the Church, they will let us know. Um…what else. Well we have often been told to think for ourselves. And I think this is important. Obedience and blindly following the Prophet (and thus the Lord) is NOT the same thing. We have brains, we should use them.

Perhaps just avoiding the issue often is how uncomfortable facts are dealt with.