Sally mentioned in her opening comment that she was good friends with people who were gay. These people may be gay…. but they probably do not attack the church’s belief on the subject as I do.

On the other point, I frequented bars for many years, but I dislike totally the taste of alcholic beverages. I always order a bottle of water, or a diet coke. I did not want my non member friends who are drinkers to think that just because I was LDS that I would hold my nose up in the air and not enter a bar because I was too good for them. On the other hand, I never compromised my beliefs on the word of wisdom. I always felt that I was showing tolerance yet not compromising my beliefs.

At the same time, you can get a testimony when you see others acting in such a way. I saw so many people get drunk and get high in my life to know that there’s nothing too happy about it… there’s my testimony. I don’t go to college parties because seeing these folks get drunk and high really does make me sad. If you avoid the topic your kids will eventually want to experience it. I remember when my friends parents refused to talk about sex so they all went and lost their virginity only to realize they were right – that isn’t cool.

I think there’s a difference between being at a place where people take drugs, drink alcohol and smoke… and wanting to find yourself there.

Usually frankness helps avoid offending. “I’m sorry, my grandfather died of problems related to his alcoholism so it’s hard for me to be around even innocuous social drinking.” That way, you take responsibility for the weakness, rather than implying that the other person is to be condemned.

Obviously there are going to be situations you can’t and even shouldn’t avoid. But overall avoiding situations that could put you at risk for succumbing to personal temptations is wise.

I’m afraid that avoidance is plan A, B, C … Z around here.

I am of the opinion that avoiding things that make you uncomfortable (or that you fundamentally disagree with) is not the best way to live.

Acceptance, reflection and compassion allow a person to deal with most scenarios, if they’ll only trust themselves to cope.

We should talk to our children about the commandments and help them understand why the Lord has given specific commandments. However, we should not shut out all those around us that chose to live differently.

Should we be doing this instead of making a stand by saying sorry we are members of this church so no one can drink or smoke anywhere near the building? Hmm I don’t know. I would think that wouldn’t be a great way to do missionary work. All I know is trying to live your life the way Christ would want and yet at the same time be there for your non member family is not always the same thing.

I can’t imagine what our childrens’ lives would have been like had they not been a part of their extended family just because the rest smoke and drank.

So Sally, would you say that avoidance should be the first option and when that’s not possible, alternatives have to be considered?

You’re making it sound like you have children rapidly approaching their teenage years.